Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! We got the email today that our dossier is officially on its way to Ethiopia! That means we have been approved by all government and adoption agencies. Oh my. I cannot even begin to explain how I am feeling right now. But before I even try to get in to all that, let me explain to you how I found out that our dossier had been sent.
Adam and I are in the process of training for a few races here in Birmingham, and we went to a park near our house to run this afternoon. Right when we got home, I went to use the restroom (sorry if that is a lot of info). From the dining room, my dear sweet husband yells, "Have you checked your email today?" I told him that I had not, and he shouts back, "Oh. Well, our dossier has been sent to Ethiopia." Seriously, Adam? SERIOUSLY? So I fly out of the hall bathroom and down to the dining room to see for myself, and sure enough, there it is. A notification from the Ethiopia program director, Lesley, that our paperwork has been sent. Thank you, Lord. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. This, of course, was followed by much hugging, laughing and me hopping around our house out of sheer excitement. So our paperwork should land some time this week (I think), and then we will get our first official waiting list number at the beginning of October. Still smiling!
This came at SUCH a good time, too. Not that there is a bad time to get this kind of news. But today had been a bit of a rough day. Every now and then I get this rising feeling of panic related to the adoption and our children in general. And it happened a few times today, so I was feeling a little fragile. I had asked the Lord to please help me through this. Did He ever!
I am blown away by God's faithfulness to me, especially on days like these and especially in the midst of my unfaithfulness to Him. So often (like today, for instance), I give in to fear and doubt. I lose my trust in the Lord and even feel like He is not here with me. But even when I do that, He refuses to let me go. He will not abandon me. Plain and simple. When my heart and soul are attacked by fear and doubt, He shows up and reminds me of who He is and what He has promised. And He shows me His faithfulness. And in doing so, He quiets my heart and fills me with His boundless love and peace. Now that certainly does not mean that this panicky feeling will never strike again, but I know that when it does, my Great God will be there, in His faithfulness, reminding me of who He is and Whose I am. Thank you, Jesus, for your unending mercy and patience with a sinner like me.
"Who is like you, Lord God Almighty? You, Lord, are mighty, and your faithfulness surrounds you." Psalm 89:8