Rwanda in Photos: Day 2

Day two in Rwanda was a tough one. We started out at the Nyamata Genocide Memorial. I am working on a separate post about that, but it is slow going, as it is next to impossible to explain what we saw there.

 The Nyamata Memorial is a church. In 1994, an estimated 10, 000 Rwandans came here seeking shelter and protection from the Interhamwe. They believed that they would be safe here, because no one believed that people would commit murder inside a church. Sadly, there were almost no survivors. 

 Nyamata is a peaceful and beautiful place. It has stood, undisturbed, since the horrifying acts of 1994. Once inside the outer gates, you are to keep as quiet as possible, and inside the actual church, there is not talking at all. 

Photography is not permitted within the church, itself. 

 Behind the church, there is, what our guide called, a crypt. It lies beneath the white tiled memorials you see in this photograph. 

We went inside, and what I saw I will probably never be able to describe to you. Shelves and shelves, all the way to the ceiling, lined with human remains. It was the most horrifying thing I have ever seen. 

 Still, there is now a sense of peace that fills the courtyard. 

And it is beautiful place. 

 The back of the church, where you can still see marks in the bricks from the rebel soldiers trying to get inside. 

Stained glass windows that have been broken out. 

This morning was one of the hardest of my life. The massive loss of life, the terror these innocent people must have felt. To think that human beings would do this to one another. It's something I hope I never understand. 

 The beauty of this day came in the restoration we saw first-hand after we left the memorial. We traveled to Bugasera, a community where Africa New Life has a Christian school and community outreach. Seeing these beautiful children in school, learning how to read and write and hearing of the love of Christ right on the heels of our visit to Nyamata was completely overwhelming. I was able to see, with my own eyes, God's restoration at work. He is using the faithful workers of Africa New Life to raise up a generation of Rwandans who live and preach love, not hatred and violence. 

It was an honor to meet these sweet children. 

 To talk with them. 

 To watch them play. 

 To try to play with them. 

(I am not very good at hopscotch/rock soccer!)

To watch them be silly and just be kids. 

 To serve them lunch. 

 And to help clean up when they were finished. 

One of my favorite (and most nerve-wracking) moments is right here. 

I was given the opportunity to share my testimony with these precious children. Given the chance to tell them of Christ's redeeming work in my own life. It had been too long since I had shared my testimony in front of a group (and it was my first time to do so through a translator), and it was so, so, so good. 

And this right here. 

I have no idea why we are laughing. Probably something I mistakenly said. 

But I love this moment. This man and I, we do not know each other. But we both know Jesus, and he helped me share my story with a room full of sweet faces. 

 And then as we were leaving, they called the entire school together to pray. 

And this young man, Isa, got up and prayed in front of the whole school. 

I had been talking to him earlier and did not realize that he was such a strong young man and leader. 

Hearing him pray in Kinyarwandan was absolutely beautiful. 

And as we were leaving, God caught my eye with this little reminder. 

Love, 

Baylor 

P.S. If you missed the first photo entry, just click HERE to get to it. 

Rwanda in Photos: Day 1

So I know what you have been thinking.

WHERE ARE ALL OF HER PICTURES FROM RWANDA? SHOW ME THE GOOD STUFF, ALREADY!

Well, I have good news for you. Over the next few days, I am going to work on organizing all of my photos into separate posts by days. My hope is that this will give you a little taste of what my amazing week in the Land of a Thousand Hills was really like.

So, here we go.

Sunrise on our first morning.
I'll be honest. I woke up not knowing what to expect. And I was definitely not prepared to be swept away by the tidal wave of love that followed. 

 Noonday Collection's founder, Jessica Honegger, with all of our Rwandan seamstresses sharing with us how Noonday started in Rwanda. It is a beautiful story that wraps adoption, economic opportunity and female empowerment into one. 

 She shared with us that she sat in a room with these women three years ago, promising them jobs without knowing whether she could actually deliver. 

And now, three years later, these women all have dignified jobs, they have homes and their children are in school. 

 We gave them  picture of all of the Ambassadors from last year's conference for them to keep in their studio as a reminder that we are on the other side of the world working hard to sell their beautiful pieces. 

 And to reaffirm the Noonday sisterhood, we brought them some gifts from their sister artisans in India. 

And then we had a chance to hear from Charlotte, the co-op president, as she shared what Noonday means for her and how her life has transformed since linking arms with Noonday Collection.
Important side note: Charlotte had her baby while we were in Rwanda!!
A baby girl named Jessica Honegger. 

 Then we were able to go inside the sewing studio, and these blessed women tried to teach us how to sew. They are the most patient of teachers. 

 Our artisans do ALL of their sewing on foot pedal sewing machines. 

Yowza. 

 So Lindsey and I got paired with Charlotte.
You know, the president of the whole co-op. 

Poor Charlotte. 

I won't speak for Lindsey, but I am a terrible seamstress! As in, totally hopeless. 

 I paid really close attention. 

                                     

 But, as you can see, I was not feeling too confident.

 But Charlotte, eternal blessings upon here, was a very patient and thorough teacher, and I loved every minute of learning from her. Watching her explain and teach something that is obviously so near to her heart (and something she has SUCH a talent for) was an incredible experience for me. These women are real. Their lives are real. Their stories are real. Their talent is REAL. And I get to be the one to share that with my little world over here? Are you crazy? This is my JOB? I am honored to work WITH these women. Honored to call them my sisters and my friends.

So after MANY false starts and Charlotte have to jump several times to prevent me from totally breaking her sewing machine,

I eventually, kinda, sorta got the hang of it. 

I am being very generous with myself in saying that. 

 Love this sweet woman!
And now I have a whole new appreciate for what she and all of our Rwandan artisans do for us every single day.

Serapia at her station. 

Talk about a woman who gives good hugs! 

 Grace and Solange (see her in our new fall look book!) helping Emily and Leslie learn how to sew on the foot pedal machines. 

 Beautiful ladies taking a break from trying to teach us. 

Apparently. we are exhausting students. Ha! 

The sewing studio from outside. 

The name of our Rwanda co-op is Umucyo (ooh-moo-cho). 

The name means "Light" in Kinyarwandan. 

And these beautiful women are full of light. 

 So then we were off to the fabric market! 

Talk about being overwhelmed. 

Beautiful market fabrics hanging all over the place. 

 So many to choose from! 

 Oh, and I don't speak Kinyarwandan, so this was all done with pointing. 

My final selections. 

All of these were taken back to Umucyo, where our artisans were going to create some gorgeous new treasures for us. 

Skirts and dresses and make up bags and aprons, oh my! 

Getting measured for my skirt! 

My first ever custom piece of clothing. 

And I LOVE knowing that it was crafted by these precious women. 

If you want to read my impressions about day one in Rwanda, just click HERE. I wrote about it that night when we got back to the Africa New Life guest house. This day stands as one of the the very best in my whole life. 

"If you pour yourself out for the hungry
    and satisfy the desire of the afflicted,
then shall your light rise in the darkness
    and your gloom be as the noonday."

Isaiah 58:10

Love, 

Baylor 

Make Me Brave

My mind has been a blur since returning home from Rwanda.

Sometimes God uses an experience we have, maybe a good one or maybe a bad one, to rock us deep down to the core. Much of my life has felt this way in recent months and years. And in most cases the experiences that have rocked me have been hard ones, maybe impossible ones.

But a few weeks ago, I got on a plane and flew half way around the world. I did so not knowing a single person I would encounter, eat with, live with, share a bathroom with. I did so going to a country where I did not speak the language.

It was this great step, maybe leap, of faith.

Only I didn't realize it when I signed up. I just wanted to get my feet on the African continent. I wanted to see and smell and taste and touch a place that was near where my children were born. I wanted to meet our Noonday Collection artisans. Look them in the eye and thank them for all of their beautiful work. And I wanted to experience God in a fresh way.

It wasn't until I was standing in the Brussels airport, surrounded by other Noonday Ambassadors, that I thought to be nervous. I didn't know these women. They didn't know me, know the struggles I have been battling through for the last few years, know how hard it can be for me to be around women because, well, because lots of women are mothers, and I am not. And I trapped myself in Rwanda for a week with these people?

Uh-oh.

I could feel my heart starting to retreat within myself, feel walls going up to keep me safe from feeling.

And I prayed: God, make me brave enough to be here, to experience what we do this week.

I was not prepared for God to answer in the way He did. The answer to so many of my prayers over the last almost four years has been, "Wait." or "Not yet." And I was afraid that He might say one of those things again.

But He didn't. And I wasn't ready.

I wasn't ready for the love-fest that is being surrounded by Noonday Ambassadors. I wasn't ready to be instantly loved and respected and included. I wasn't ready for women I had just met to hurt alongside me and offer me some of the most genuine encouragement I have ever received. I wasn't ready to be pulled in and loved without question.

They sat with me and inquired of me and encouraged me and related to me and shared their own stories with me. They pointed over and over again to evidence of God's grace and sovereignty in their own lives and helped me look for those same things in my own life. And God used them to make me brave.

And this experience? It rocked me to the core. It reminded me that God is here. Do you remember Jehovah Shammah? It was a whole week of God being my Jehovah Shammah. My week in Rwanda reminded me that, though I have felt lonely, God has never left me. That when I am too exhausted to take another step, He will carry me. That when I cannot speak another word, Jesus will intercede for me.

I am honored to be counted among these women. Honored to bear the same title they do. Honored to call them my friends.

But God did not stop there. He brought me to opportunity to meet our Rwandan artisans. Women who are smart and hardworking and kind and loving and courageous and beautiful in all the right ways. And He didn't just let me meet them; He let me know them, talk to them, love and be loved by them. He used these women in a powerful way in my life. He used them to make me brave.

Incredible things happen when women come together. Astounding things. Beautiful things. And I am so glad that God decided to make me a woman! I love women's hearts, their uncanny ability to love and encourage one another. And I want to keep doing it. I want to keep loving the women around me, listening to them and encouraging them.

I am so thankful that God made me brave during my week in Rwanda. And I hope and pray He will help me to stay brave and love well the people He puts in my life.

So from this, I am taking my newfound bravery and trying anew to fully and wholly put my life in God's hands. I am trying to trust Him entirely with the future of our family. Whatever that looks like. It is so hard to do, and (if I am totally honest with you) pretty scary, too. Children is the piece of my life to which I have held very tightly over the years. But I am trying to be brave and let go and give our future over to God entirely.

Deep breath. Here we go.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; 

do not be discouraged, 

for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” 

Joshua 1:9

Love,
Baylor

A Chance to Say Thank You

She is wearing a beautiful dress as we follow her down a narrow outdoor corridor. It's starting to drizzle, so we hurry. She ushers us through a courtyard and through a door. We are in her living room being invited to sit and relax with her family. She doesn't sit yet, making last minute adjustments around the room and going to check on something outside. We sit, in her home, surrounded by the people she loves best.

She is Astrida. And she is one of our beautiful, gifted artisans.

We have the honor of being guests in her home.

Her husband,whose English is exceptional, begins talking with us. He tells us that he and Astrida are Congolese refugees. They fled civil unrest years ago after his parents were killed and he was beaten so severely that he still has back trouble and headaches today. He tells us that his injuries made it difficult for him to find work and that life was very difficult. They wanted to provide for their children, but they weren't making enough to do it.

Then Astrida began working at the Umucyo co-op, the Noonday partnership.

Their children are all in school, they have medical insurance, they are saving to purchase a home, he has found a job as a teacher.

They tell us that Noonday has brought them a new day. That their life is happy. That they are proud to provide for their family.

I look to Astrida, and her face is quietly glowing. She is proud to be a woman of industry, a woman of talent, a woman whose work is known and loved and used and shared around the world.

We have a chance to introduce ourselves and share about our families and our lives. And I am so excited. You see, I had been hoping to be paired with Astrida for this visit. I have been captured by her smile and her eyes since the first time I saw her picture.and now here she is, right in front of me, and I get to tell her who she is to me.

I introduce myself and tell her about Adam. I share pictures of my husband (who she thinks is very handsome...good taste!) and my parents, my sister and Daisy. And then I get to tell her what I have been dying to say.

I tell her thank you. Thank you because we don't have any children and we are adopting. Thank you because the income I earn with Noonday is being set aside to cover extra adoption costs. Thank you because, even though she didn't know me until today, she is helping me become a mom, which is the deepest desire of my heart.

I don't know what she thought. She just smiled, took my hand and bowed her head.

This woman. This woman on the other side of the world is my partner. We need each other to take care of our children. This is the heartbeat of Noonday Collection. Women walking side by side with one another in equal partnership, empowering one another to make a difference in this world. I am honored to know Astrida, to have sat on her couch, to have hugged her children, to have had the opportunity to thank her for joining me in this journey, to know that she is part of my story and I am part of hers, to be able to share with my own children one day that this woman, and so many others like her, were instrumental in bringing us together.

Before we leave, she serves us tea and bakery bread, a Rwandan custom when guests visit your home. She is honoring us. And I tell her no, that the honor is mine.

Love,
Baylor

At the Feet of Jesus

So much of what I am experiencing here has left me struggling for words. I think sometimes God pulls us out of our context of comfort to highlight who He is. That is exactly what this week in Rwanda has been for me. And the timing could not be more perfect.

All week, I have been hoping and praying that God would give me the courage to truly experiencing everything we are doing, to not just be a casual observer, but to be an authentic and intentional participant. So much of what Adam and I have endured over the last 3+ years on our journey to become parents has been bitterly painful, and a lot of it has left me hesitant to take a risk to do anything that might make me feel too much. Because, after so much hurt, it is easier to hold things at arm's length. It is safer.

But all of that came crashing down this morning.

We went to church. Having never been to Rwanda, I had no idea what to expect. I didn't even know whether the service would be in English. It was. Just like back in the States, we began with praise and worship. Two songs in, we began an OLD favorite of mine.

We fall down.
We lay our crowns.
At the feet of Jesus.
The greatness of
His mercy and love
At the feet of Jesus.
We cry, "Holy, holy, holy."
We cry, "Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lamb."

I have known that song for as long as I can remember. But as I was singing it today, I felt a pull on my heart.

"Baylor, you are not doing the very thing you are singing about."

And for the first time in I don't even know how long, I raised my hands up to God and let myself experience His presence. And I asked Him to help me be brave enough to lay my crowns at His feet, all the things I think I have achieved. Brave enough to let go of what I want, what think my life should look like and to fill my heart and my life with a desire to follow Him and love Him, trust Him wholly and fully and to not hold anything back.

And as my prayers went up, the Holy Spirit came down and the tears poured out. And I experienced God and His powerful presence. In those moments, I was alone with Jesus, and He reminded me that He is trustworthy, that He loves me. And that I can love Him back, even though I am hurting.

When the song was over, all I could manage was, "Thank you, thank you, thank you."


I pray that He would make me different. That He would make me better, stronger, braver. That He would remove fear, doubt, anger. I pray that I would be the kind of person who speaks joy, not just from the mountaintop, but from the valley.

I am so thankful that He did not give up on me. Even when I tried to give up on Him.

Love,
Baylor

Joy.

This, I think, has been the single most moving, overwhelming morning of my life. 

Joy. Sheer, complete, perfect, unadulterated joy. 

We step off the bus and these beautiful women are shouting, clapping and singing...for us. 

Us? 

This moment isn't about us; it's about them. 

As we walk down the steps and onto to the patio, they are grabbing us and hugging in and kissing us and thanking us. They are smiling and laughing. 

And I am crying. 

I'm crying because I can't believe their stories are part of my story. I am crying because I can't believe I am even allowed to be here, allowed to be a small, small part of this incredible story God is writing. He has taken women from opposite sides of the globe, and He has built a bridge to connect us. He has woven our lives together in this beautiful and crazy way. 

We need them in order to do what we do, and they need us to do what they do. This paradigm creates a partnership, a sustainable way to grow together and love and support one another. Meeting these women today cemented this reality for me. I stood there, enveloped by the arms and hearts of women I didn't know yesterday, and waves, literal waves, of love came rolling off of them and crashing over me.

And I saw Noonday for what it really is. 

A vehicle, a beautiful and powerful vehicle, that unites women across oceans and borders and creates a lifetime partnership, a true sisterhood of empowerment, love and encouragement. 

And I cannot believe that I get to be a part of it. What an honor to be one who carries their story forward.

I asked The Lord to refresh my spirit this week, and I prayed this morning for an open heart to receive whatever it is He might have for me. He crashed into my heart and my soul through these women today. 

It is well. 

Love, 
Baylor 

Rwanda: Travel Day

I'm writing to you from roughly 30,000 above the African continent with just over three hours left on this long, long journey to Rwanda. In a few minutes, we are going to fly right past Ethiopia. Maybe there's a parachute on board...

And as I sit here in my little seat, with my eyelids heavy and my knees aching from only two hours of sleep in the last twenty-four, I am swept away by the reality of what we are about to do, by the fact that my feet will soon touch African soil, by the gift that God has laid before me in this Ambassador trip. A chance to live and love with twenty-three other like-minded women for ten days. A chance to meet our artisans, the women whose cause we champion through Noonday. A chance to be with The Lord in a fresh way. A chance to have my spirit refreshed in the midst of this desert we have been walking through.

I am so excited to see what God does this week. It is my deepest hope and prayer that He will speak to my heart in new ways this week, that He will remind me of His goodness and His love, that He will renew my faith and my energy and that I will come home feeling a sureness that has eluded me for a long time now.

I can't help it; this journey has me thinking of what it will be like when we are flying to Ethiopia instead of Rwanda. When we will be preparing to see and kiss the faces of our little ones. Maybe this trip is a stepping stone to get us ready for Ethiopia. Oh, I hope so. I would love to be heading back to this continent soon.

If you are one of the beautiful people who prays for us, would you pray that God reveals Himself to me this week? The last few years have been so hard, and I miss Him.

I can't wait to share this week with you.

Love,
Baylor