I have done a monumentally terrible job of documenting our journey toward Asher joining our family. There has been so much to take in since we found out about our very unexpected blessing. And I have found myself struggling to process it all int he midst of adjusting to becoming a mom for the first time. I guess there is a reason biology doesn’t let us have two kids just eight months apart! Still, this is the path the Lord has laid out for our family, and so I know it is good. And now, with her due date just one week away, I am going to try to get in a couple of posts to catch up on the things I have not been able to write down.
Experiencing pregnancy has been an incredible thing. To feel this little life grow and move and now, especially, to think about being the one to physically bring her into the world is so overwhelming. I have marveled at God’s creative genius more in the last eight months than I ever have before. There is a human being with a soul inside my body. What in the world?
And now we are about a week away from meeting this person, this person who has been with me every single second of the last nine months, and I find myself feeling quite the mixture of excitement and anxiety. I’m so excited to meet her and to be a mom in this way, too. But I’m nervous about it happening so soon on the heels of Bradley joining our family. I feel wholly and completely unprepared. We had YEARS of preparation for Bradley and just eight VERY DISTRACTED months for Asher.
I have a feeling that this is going to be another one of those seasons in which the Lord in constantly reminding me that I need Him desperately. I can already feel the temptation to saddle up and do it on my own building within me, and I know I need to dial that down and rest fully on God. It appears that the Lord knows I like to rely on myself, and, therefore, has to put me in positions where I simply cannot do it on my own.
There is more I want to share, but the Bradley Bear is up from his nap. Hoping to write more soon.