We moved into our new house last Saturday! More on that later. But as with any change in home, we have had to set up all the new stuff. Power, gas, water…INTERNET. We have been without internet for a week, and I am kind of ashamed to admit to you how much I have felt the hole being disconnected from the interwebs has left in my life. But in a lot of ways, it has been a very good thing.
For one, I have gotten an insane amount of unpacking done. Sure, it looks somewhat impressive, but, to be fair, I have had literally NOTHING ELSE TO DO. So I unpack boxes, hang clothes and put away dishes. And, one week in, I am thankful for the lack of distraction.
More importantly, I have not been able to waste away my time on Pinterest, obsessing over other adoption blogs or mindlessly scrolling through Facebook. Don’t get me wrong, I am so very glad that the AT&T man is here right now installing our internet as I type this post into a Word document to be later pasted onto my blog. I miss feeling “connected,” but there has been something kind of nice about being able to say, “No, I didn’t know about that; we don’t have internet at our house yet.”
And then MOST importantly, the lack of connectivity provided me with an opportunity to sit down with my Bible and a mug of coffee this morning, which led to God speaking directly to my heart through the prophet Hosea. You see, I know myself, and I know how incredibly tired I am from all of this moving and unpacking and scrambling around (all of which is done AFTER a full day of teaching 8th graders!). So I know that it would have been my inclination this morning to get online and do some pinning or some reading or some Facebook stalking.
But instead, I poured a cup of coffee and sat down with my Bible. (Side note: This is not a “Hooray for me and my holiness! Look at me go!” Rather, it is quite humbling to me that God had to orchestrate this set of circumstances to get my attention this morning.)
I opened—unintentionally—to the book of Hosea. I have read it before, and I am familiar with the story of Hosea and his wife, Gomer. God commands Hosea to marry an adulterous woman, and that is exactly what Gomer is. She bears him three children and then leaves and he has to go buy her back out of prostitution. And as I was reading, I realized how much I am like Gomer. Not the adulterous wife part, but the leaving God part. The whole story of Hosea and Gomer is a parallel for God and Israel. God loves His people, and yet His people leave Him over and over again. God gets angry and pours out wrath, but He ultimately forgives Israel and brings her back. Just like Hosea did for Gomer. So many times, especially as this adoption journey has become more and more difficult, I have found myself trying to run away from God, casting Him aside. There have been days when things have been so hard that I cannot even bear the thought of getting up and being around people for a whole day. And I have been embittered by this. There have been moments when I have resented the life God has given me. And I have turned away. I have chosen to live in my own selfishness instead of trusting in God’s goodness. I have been like Gomer, and I have run away.
But God did not let me go. Not for one moment. He came after me. He pursued me, loved me enough to fight for my heart even when I thought I knew better.
He did this:
“Therefore, I am now going to allure her;
I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her.
There I will give her back her vineyards,
And will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope.
There she will sing, as in the days of her youth,
As in the day she came up out of Egypt.”
I am so humbled and grateful to serve a God who does not abandon us when we give up on Him. He fights for us. He never leaves us.
So this morning, God was showing me that I have been Gomer and He has been Hosea. I have turned to other things in this difficult season, and He has come after me time and again. He was showing me, reminding me that He is always here, and that I do not HAVE to look elsewhere, because He is the only One who can bring me through this.
What about you? Have you been like Gomer, like me? Have you tried turning to other things? If you have, He is still fighting for you. He is coming after you, desiring your return to Him.
“Let us acknowledge the Lord;
Let us press on to acknowledge Him.
As surely as the sun rises, He will appear;
He will come to us like the winter rains,
Like the spring rains that water the earth.”
He is always here.
P.S. This is blog post number 200. Crazy!
P.S. This is blog post number 200. Crazy!