Thursday, January 10, 2013

Nine Months In

Today marks nine months since we started the whole adoption process. It is strange because if we were having a biological child, he or she might be arriving today. To have been on this path for so long and still feel so far away from what we are waiting for is a weird (best word?) feeling. I would love, love, love to be able to tell you that the waiting gets easier as we go. But I can't. I wish it did. More than you know. Actually, there are some days/weeks when, the longer we wait, the more aggravated I become. I think that is mostly because I feel like the waiting is unreasonable, as there is such a need for families to take care of orphans around the world and in Ethiopia in particular. Still, I know that my God is over all of this and that everything will happen when it is best for us and for our baby bird. Yet I have to say, for the sake of honesty, know that truth and fully believing it does not always make  waiting easier. Some day it does. But a lot of days...well, not so much.

And that is why I am so grateful that the Lord has seen fit to surround us with an incredible network of family and friends who love the Lord, love us and love our little one. I don't say it enough, but thank you to all of you who have loved, supported and prayed for us over the last nine months. We absolutely could not have made it this far without you, and I know that is why the Lord put you in our lives. It is a beautiful thing to know that when we are so worn down and feel like we cannot pray the same prayer one more time that you are standing in the gap for us and praying right alongside side us. May of you know that I am reading The Circle Maker, a book about prayer. One of the things Mark Batterson (the author) says is that every miracle in your life is a result of either a prayer you prayed or a prayer someone else prayed for you. I am feeling the truth in that so, so much. And please know, that when we finally get this little babe home, we are so grateful to you for your prayers that directly impacted this miracle in our lives.

Along the same line, my amazingly faithful and beautiful mother sent me something last night (two things, really) that came at the perfect time. The first reminded me of what we are waiting for and how it parallels God's work in my own life. My family goes to church on Wednesday night, and there was a guest speaker at their church last night. Andrew Palau. He is the son of Luis Palau, a well-known Christian speaker. He shared his testimony and was autographing books in the lobby afterward. My mom bought the book and met him, which she says was an incredible moment. Anyway, she was flipping through the book, The Secret Life of a Fool, when she found this toward the end.
Why, hello there, perfect timing! I am so thankful for moments like that one, moments that remind me of two things. First, there will come a day when that will be us. We will walk into an orphanage, pick up our child and he/she will be ours. For the rest of time. Second, this is what the Lord did for me. He gave me an eternal forever family, a family where I am a daughter of the Most High. Thank you, Mom, for this reminder.

The second thing she sent me was a quote from Billy Graham.

"The inability to comprehend fully the mysteries of God does not in any way curtail the Christian faith. On the contrary, it enhances our belief. We do not understand the intricate pattern of the stars in their courses, but we know that He who created them does, and that just as surely as He guides them, He is charting a safe course for us."

Have you ever just had something meet you right where you are? I have to tell you, most of the time these days, I do not understand what God is doing or why He is doing it, but I know that He knows. And, for now, that has to be enough. If He can balance the universe and keep all of our hearts beating with no effort at all, then He can manage this. I just need to trust Him. That is what faith is, is it not? Believing in the thing you cannot see. Trusting in the One you know is there. So this season, as incredibly difficult as it is, is serving to grow my faith. And that is worth it. I just have to remember that.

"Now faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see." Hebrews 11:1


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