Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Waiting List Number: January 2013

Happy New Year! Happy New Number! After what felt like an incredibly sloooooow month in the adoption world, we were shocked, pleased, thrilled, excited, ecstatic, overjoyed (get the picture?) to get our first number for 2013. We are currently number...

Yaaaay for 66!! 
Big Sister is ready! 

This feels like such a miracle. Well, at least it does to me. December felt like a month of cavernous silence in the way of referrals with seemingly only two (that I knew of) for the entire month. I was nervous about our new number, because I was afraid that we had only moved two spots. Silly, silly me. I really don't know why I bother to worry or doubt anymore. Every time I set a "worst case" scenario up in my mind, God surpasses it with His incredible goodness. And really, why do I bother being surprised when He surpasses my measly little expectations?

God is up to good things. He is working in a powerful way in Ethiopia, matching sweet children with their families, and, as a result, filling holes in families on this side of the ocean. And He is up to good things in our hearts and our lives. We have learned so much over the last three and a half months of waiting, the greatest of which is probably, "Trust God above all else." I try to make plans and sketch out timelines, but whatever I can put together in my mind always, always, always pales in comparison to what God is actually doing in our life and in the life of our child. I don't always understand what God is doing with us. In fact, I would venture to say that most of the time I feel a bit confused, but I do know that He is not confused. My mom came in town this past weekend for a visit, and we spent a lot of time talking about our adoption, the future of our family, what God is doing in us right now and how He is preparing us for the future He has laid out for us. I was talking to my mom about how hard it is to wait and how there are days when I feel like my heart is just breaking and how I know that God could choose to fix it right away, but isn't. And how I want to know why He is choosing to do things this way. My wonderful and very wise mother reminded that when God allows us to go through difficult things or experience pain, He is actively sharpening and strengthening us. And usually He is doing that so that we will be ready for whatever lies ahead in our lives. So even though all of this waiting is so, so difficult, I can rest in the assurance that the Lord is allowing this to happen for a very specific purpose.

So anyway, as you can tell, I had been a bit of a Debbie Downer toward the end of December and was really ready for a tiny jump on the waiting list. But then God stepped in a moved us FIVE spots. That might not seem like a lot, but I was ready to move two, so five is fantastic for me! Would you like more evidence that God is right here with us? Check out our waiting list experience thus far:

-Received our first number for the month of October: #86
-Started praying to please, please, please break into the 70s for the month of November, and by the end of the month we knew about 2 referrals that had gone out, which would put us at #84.
-Received our November number: #79 PRAYER ANSWERED! 
-Started praying to be in the 60s for December, but only heard about 5 referrals at the very beginning of the month. 
-Received our December number: #71--I know what you are thinking. That is not in the 60s. You are right, but we only knew about 5 referrals, and we moved 8 spots. EXPECTATION SURPASSED!
-Started praying, again, to break into the 60s. Only heard about two referrals all month long and then one more on December 30. 
-Received our January number: #66--We moved 5 spots when we only knew about three referrals. EXPECTATION SURPASSED YET AGAIN! 

That is a grand total of TWENTY spots in three months of getting waiting list numbers. God is big, and He is good! Even when it doesn't make sense to us and we feel lost or confused or hurt, He is always up to something good!

"The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; He knows those who take refuge in Him." Nahum 1:7


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