So I want to share with you what He shared with me this evening. As you will soon be able to tell, He parked me in the Psalms tonight, and He used my mom to get me there. I have shared the passages below and tried to offer my thoughts on each.
"For the Lord is a sun and shield; the Lord will give grace and glory. No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly. O Lord of hosts, blessed is the man who trusts in You!"
This is the one my mother shared with me tonight. We were just talking about how difficult the wait has been lately and how I struggle to understand what God is doing during this time. She read verse eleven to me over the phone, and it reminded me of God's goodness. I know Him. I know that He is good. And because I know that, I know that He is not allowing me to hurt like this for no reason.He is withholding children from us right now, but that will not always be the case. He has a purpose, and one day this part will be over. I just have to trust in what I know about His character.
"Will you not revive us again, that your people may rejoice in You? Show us your unfailing love, Lord, grant us your salvation. I will listen to what the Lord says; He promises peace to His people, His faithful servants, but let them not turn to folly. Surely His salvation is near those who fear Him, that His glory may dwell in our land."
I love the picture of God reviving us. I don't know about you, but I need it. I need to be revived, refreshed. I have grown weary in the wait. There are days when I feel like I am just being dragged through the mud. But I know that if I call on the Lord, He will revive my soul. He might not end my trial right then. In fact, He has not yet done that for me, but He has revived me and refreshed my soul when I need it. He is always near to me, even when I don't feel Him. I will be honest about the fact that there have been a lot of days over the last year when I have felt so isolated and alone. It is nothing that anyone has done. I think it is just part of what we are walking through right now. And if I did not know beyond the shadow of a doubt--and I mean the kind of knowing that happens when you absolutely do not feel anything; you are just trusting in what you know to be true--if I did not know that the Lord was right here with me, I might go crazy. But He is here, and He promises to give us peace.
"Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days."
This is more of a cry to God for me. I know that my desire to be a mother will not be satisfied until I have our little one(s) home, but I know that God can satisfy my heart while I am waiting. Please don't get me wrong here. I am not saying that God will just tide me over until I get what I really want. That is not it at all. I firmly believe that the Lord gives women the desire to be mothers. It is part of what He created Eve to do. She was Adam's helpmate and the mother of all nations. God planned that for her. So I do believe that the desire to be a mom is a Godly one. What I am saying is that God can sustain me in this wait; He can carry me through. And then He will keep right on carrying me once we have our babies home. This verse reminds me of my need to cry out to God, my need to ask Him to satisfy me.
"I will say of the Lord, 'He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust.'"
This one is a reminder to me of who God really is. He is the one I give my life to, the one who truly protects my heart and my life. I need to remind myself of this truth much more often.
"If you say, 'The Lord is my refuge,' and you make the Most High your dwelling, no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent. For He will command His angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. You will tread on the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent. 'Because he loves me,' says the Lord, 'I will rescue him; I will protect him for he acknowledges my Name. He will call on me, and I will answer him in trouble. I will deliver and honor him. With a long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.'"
This one speaks for itself. I can only, very humbly, say, "Thank you, Lord God, that this is who you are."
This is what the Lord had for me this evening, and I am so grateful that I serve and love and know a God who knows me so well and loves me this deeply.
What about you? How has the Lord spoken to you through His Word lately? Crack open that Bible and find out just how much He loves you.