Anyway, because February is actually a shorter month, I thought it would just fly by. Easy peasy. In reality, February has been the longest and toughest month for me on this adoption journey so far. If you were a student in my English class, this is where I would pause to discuss the irony of this with you (Don't you miss middle school?).
Instead, I am going to talk to you about God's provision in my life over the last 28 days, some of the longest of my life.
1. Adam and I started reading Jesus Calling together this month. We were starting to feel worn down and needed something to help refocus us on the goodness and Sovereignty of God. So we have been working through Jesus Calling for about two weeks now, and it has been incredible. We were talking last night about how God has really been using this book to minister to us in a very specific way and how crazy that is because the book was mass produced, not written with the Knotts in mind. We are pretty much awestruck by how the Lord is using Jesus Calling to speak directly to our hearts. For example, here is last night's message:
"KEEP YOUR EYES ON ME! Waves of adversity are washing over you, and you feel tempted to give up. As your circumstances consume more and more of you attention, you are losing sight of Me. Yet I am with you always, holding you by your right hand. I am fully aware of your situation, and I will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able to bear.
Your gravest danger is worrying about tomorrow. If you try to carry tomorrow's burdens today, you will stagger under the load and eventually fall flat. You must discipline yourself to live within the boundaries of today. It is in the present moment that I walk close to you, helping you carry your burdens. Keep your focus on My Presence in the present."
Is it just me, or does that seem pretty spot on for what Adam and I have been feeling over the last several weeks? Each night, we read the book, talk about the Scriptures used in that night's message and pray together. This is really transforming our lives and our hearts. You see, I had gotten to a point where it was getting hard for me to pray and turn to God. I felt like I had said it all before. But I am learning that God still wants to hear it and that Jesus is right there with me, interceding to God on my behalf. That is a pretty crazy thing. The Son of God is praying to God for me. For you, too. So this new part of our daily life is a huge blessing that has come out of a hard time.
2. We are officially moving forward with opening up our parameters to siblings. Our interview was actually today, and it went really well. Yay! It was also just really good to see Lynn, our home study social worker. She is fantastic. We are so excited about the possibility of two little birds coming home with us forever! Will you pray with us about this? We don't know what God's plan is, but we know that it is a good one! For the sake of clarification, this does not mean that we are guaranteed to adopt a sibling set; it just means that it is a possibility. A really fun, awesome, super-exciting possibility!
3. God did something awesome. And I mean really awesome. One of the reasons we felt so burdened to pursue opening up to a sibling set was because of three sisters. You see, each month when we get our waiting list update, we also get a list of waiting children. These are children who are paper ready to be adopted, but they do not meet the parameters of anyone on the waiting list. Most of the children on this list are older (10+), and a lot of them are HIV+. But there was also this set of three sisters on the list. Ages 3, 6, and 8. And they have been on the waiting children list for months. God first started laying them on my heart when we got our January update. I could not stop thinking about these sweet little girls. So I talked to Adam about it. We decided to pray. Then February 1 rolled around. We got our new number, and there they were again. Still waiting. We started talking about the possibility that these girls could be our daughters. More prayer required. It became clear that at the very least, we were supposed to start the process of widening our parameters to be open to a sibling group. Still praying. We decided that if these girls were still on the list on March 1, we would ask about them to find out more information. Well, they were adopted last week! How incredibly amazing is that? We are so grateful to God that these three girls have a home and family who loves them. And we are grateful that God allowed us to pray for them and that He used them in His divine plan to open our hearts up to a sibling set. Man, He is good!
As always, there is more going on behind the scenes, and we are waiting to see what the Lord does next. Whatever He is planning, it is FAR beyond anything we could have come up with on our own, and we are so excited to see what it is. He is moving.
" In your heart you plan your life, but the Lord decides where your steps will take you. "